Question: What’s the common thread between a dorky tent-camp manager, a traffic cop, and a shark?
Answer: They’re all inspiration for characters in the new series I’m working on. They’re also all proof you should think carefully before inspiring a writer. People often get excited when they meet a writer–they love the idea of having a character based on their very own self and being made famous in fiction. But in my fiction at least, they’re more likely to be infamous!
Take the traffic cop, for example. I’ve known lots of great cops–I’m even related to a few. And in a general sort of way, these law enforcement officers will make it into my books. But, good guy characters quickly take on a life of their own and become a whole person in the book, seperate from the real-life person that was their jumping off point. Villains will change, too, but often don’t need to change as much. This is probably because the person that inspired the villain wasn’t someone I knew well and yet is someone I can readily associate a lot of emotion with.
Emotion is a writer’s best friend. And who doesn’t feel emotions of one kind or another when looking at this?
The emotion I feel is outrage, and I associate it with the cop who will be immortalized as one of my new villains. When I looked into my rearview mirror as he walked away, the emotion was strong. I knew he had speculated my speed based on my having passed a slow moving trailer. He drove behind the trailer for awhile to see how fast it was going, then figured how fast I must have been going when I passed it. Except the trailer had slowed down and pulled half off the road when I passed it, asking me to pass, so the cop was wrong. And he didn’t care. He didn’t even pretend he’d actually clocked me going the speed he ‘wrote me down for.’ But outrage is a great emotion to pull from when developing a character, so I’m grateful to the cop for providing me such an easy building base for my next villain. He’ll make a good one.
I don’t have as much emotion to pull from when thinking of the tent-camp manager. For the sake of brevity, let’s just say that if an entire campground is bedding down for the night and the children are trying to sleep–after all, it was midnight–the manager really shouldn’t join the one rowdy group that won’t shut up and turn down the radio. Not the best thing for business. But, while he was thoughtless, and bumbling, he’ll only make rude-guy or henchmen status. As for the shark? He’s inspired a whole new race of shark-men hybrids that can come out of the water, and he’ll be immortalized as a truly scary cold-blooded killer with the desire to annihilate. I hope he doesn’t mind.
I am in denial. Every day I pretend I have a life, and the reason I check my emails seventeen times an hour has nothing to do with the three requested fulls I have currently under consideration with agents. I act cool, casual. Pretend patience. But I’m not fooling anyone. The truth is, I’ve been bit by the querying bug, and the prognosis isn’t good.
I’ve heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, with the expectation of getting different results. I’d say that’s the definition of of querying, too. Can the fact that the two share an identical definition be coincidence? Nope! So, what is one to do when bit by the querying bug? There are several options. The first, as we’ve just established, is to go crazy. Let me provide a few tips on that:
Use a magnifying glass if you’re trying to tell if that paper rejection letter has been hand signed. The ink will blur and bleed into the paper and appear uneven when compared to printed letters.
If the letter seems so courteous as to be almost encouraging and you’re sure it’s personalized, check query tracker. You’ll probably find someone else who’s posted the letter–hoping it’s a personal rejection!
If you’re still not sure and can’t rest ’til you know, simply make up a fake novel (preferably with a really bad premise) and a pseudonym, and query the agent again. If you get the same encouraging letter, you know it’s a form. If you get a request to see pages, start writing. Fast.
A rejection letter with the title of your book mentioned has been slightly personalized, but doesn’t have the same rejection clout as a letter which mentions your characters by name. The first can be pulled off with a merging program (or so I understand) while the second requires an overworked assistant or exhausted intern to actually glance at your pages. This is real rejection currency, my friends. Use it wisely.
The highest form of rejection letter is of course a letter which suggests editorial changes in case you’re inclined to do a rewrite. However, this most worthy of all rejection letters is closely followed by a one-line note from the actual (real live!) agent that’s been added underneath the standard form rejection. Rejection letters like this are good for a batch of home-baked brownies, or maybe even a carefully casual brag at your next writing group meet up.
Another course of action when out on submission (or, if you’re like me, an option to pursue in and around the crazies) is to try your hand at actual writing. You know, the thing we do when we’re not critiquing, blogging, networking, guest posting, mentoring, organizing writing get togethers, editing, reading books on writing, researching, reading fiction (to keep up with the genre!), perusing publisher’s marketplace, researching agents, writing query letters, obsessing over rejection letters and fantasizing over bestsellerdom. Here’s a handy scale to put this writing project in perspective:
The worst writing project is something like a short story. You finish it too fast, and will have to come up with a new project. What’s more, if you send it out on submission you’ll just add to your rejection woes.
The second worst project is the sequel to the book out on submission. You will either discover that you don’t really have anything more to say and catch a deathly fear of series, or you will find yourself even more invested in the sequel than the first book, and each rejection letter will sound a double death knoll to your beloved books.
A medium level project is a companion novel set in the same universe/place as your submitted novel, but not dependent on it. This will allow you to pretend you’re not obsessing, while enjoying the writerly euphoria of developing back story and creating a world building encyclopedia.
One of the best projects you could work on is a new, standalone novel that is independent of your submitted book but still works well with the ‘brand’ you’ll establish when (note my optimism!) you get the first book published.
An almost ideal best project is one you can kid yourself into believing needs to be completed before agents get back to you on the submitted book. For example, that lovely (but impractical) story you promised your nieces you’d write. Once you’re ‘real’ book is under contract/agented, you won’t have time for fun projects, so you’d better get it done now while you have the time. If you can make yourself really believe this logic, you can make the time waiting to hear back on those Fulls really fly.
The ideal project is one which combines 4 and 5, so you’re not only working productively, but believe you have a compelling need to finish this project before the agents get back to you. And this must be done without falling into the sequel trap of project 3. Good luck with that!
The third way of dealing with the submission willies is to cultivate optimism. You are going to get an agent, it’s only a matter of time. Since the deal is as good as inked, there’s no reason to feel anxiety or lose any sleep. You can spend your time doing sensible things and enjoy the contented feeling of knowing that your agent is out there–they just haven’t found you yet.
Of course, if you master that last, uber-optimistic method, odds are good you fit nicely into the definition we started with–crazy!
Just a quick note to say I posted on the cabinet, a discussion about plot pacing. And different paces of pacing. Because apparently I’m still living up to my childhood nickname of Speedy Gonzales,
Is another man’s treasure, right? That how the saying tells it. So I guess it’s no surprise that the recent heat wave that’s had most of us moaning and groaning that even the pool was too hot would be heaven for someone out there. Some one prickly, pineapple-shaped…and presumed dead. My Cycad, to be exact.
I ‘inherited’ it at a Christmas party in December. It was a white elephant gift, one that no one else wanted. I brought it home and read up on it. Great for beginners, hard to kill, very tolerant of neglect–perfect!
Not. The one thing it wants is light, and that’s the one thing we haven’t got in this house. Not a single window that can truly claim the title of sunny. So I pampered the Cycad (translate–tried to drown it) and moved it from window to window, but it still dropped leaf after dead brown leaf on the floor. When the weather warmed up, I gave up and stuck it outside where the cat curled up around it. Before long, the poor Cycad was thoroughly dead and I had to remind myself every time I walked by its carcass that the thing needed throwing out.
But what it really needed was a sauna–and that’s what we’ve had for the last few weeks. Behold, the newly rejuvenated Cycad!
I’ve discovered something better than forks, knives, spoons, chopsticks or even fingers for eating food. It’s lettuce! It started one day when I wanted the mandarin orange chicken my husband was cooking, but not the rice that went with it. I remembered how much I love PF Changs lettuce wraps, and, Ta Da! One lettuce mummy later the problem was solved.
The next morning I wanted eggs, but was feeling hungry for veggies, too. Well, we eat spinach greens in omelettes, so why not wrap my scrambled eggs up, I ask you? A few snips of the scissors and our garden was minus one head of leafy lettuce, while I was one breakfast wrap richer.
And so it went. I’m sure by now you’ve figured out where this is going…
Pizza-lettuce wraps! I just slice the pizza into strips, and lay it in the lettuce. Yum! I’ve also tried spaghetti-lettuce wraps, which were quite good. I plan to branch into desserts this weekend, as a fitting way to celebrate the happy things happening with my 13 Demon Days queries. The world is my lettuce wrap, and I am its connoisseur. What would you be willing to try wrapped up in a piece of lettuce?
P.S. I’ve also posted over in the Cabinet this week!
When we got back from the beach, our fish tank had sprouted a leak (down in the sump) and was leaking salt water all over our living room. Guess our fish wanted to come with. I can’t blame them for trying, but I’m afraid that turning the living room into a massive salt water tank just isn’t an option. So let’s say it one more time:
No ocean waves allowed in the living room!
Okay, glad we got that straight. Ocracoke island was fabulous, as predicted. The lovely ponies were kind enough to share breakfast with us–but we begged off and told them we just ate.
The ghost crabs also posed for a picture, which was especially generous of them given that they also had an ocean wave showing up in their living room.
When we hiked out to Teach’s point, we found the remains of a greek city that Blackbeard had stolen and tossed overboard in the fighting. Unfortunately, no buried treasure. Here’s a pic of the ‘ruins.’
I brought home books about the island, but have been splitting my time between the nonfiction books and Sarra Cannon‘s fantastic demon series. Congrats to Sarra on the release of number four, Shadow Demons, this weekend! And in further links, if you’re heading out to the beach for the Fourth and hunting for books, Becca Fitzpatrick’s got a few she’s recommending on the Cabinet. Happy reading, and happy travels. Have a safe Fourth!
My first post on the Cabinet of Curiosities is up! Or, maybe it’s almost up. We’ll see if I correctly communicated with blogger. :P I had a fun time writing the post, since it gave me a chance to quote Dr. Seuss. He’s been an all-time favorite writer of mine my entire life, and I’ve always felt a little extra special since we share the birthday month of March.
If only I hadn’t been two days tardy, we’d share the same day–but I guess my special-wattage will have to make do with what I got. Dr. Seuss’s books are like chocolate–always welcome, and always a pick-me-up.
Today we’re off for a whirlwind stay out on Oracoke Island. I can’t wait! Lots of pics to be posted when we get home, and hopefully some new writing in the works. Summer is a great time to restore the creative well, and I intend to embrace it!
I rewrote my query today, and it only took me ten hours! I think that’s a record. Which kind I’d probably best not say. But, it feels good to be finally really and truly heading out on the query trail. Unlike last year when I went out with my dearly beloved 13 Demon Days, I’m feeling truly confident in my query, first pages, and novel. Which doesn’t mean they can’t be improved, but they are the best I know how to make them at this time–no niggling doubts or wondering if I should have taken a second look. It feels great!
What’s the only thing that could give query-time a run for its money as front page news? Me and my writing buddies’ new group blog, the Cabinet of Cuirosities! Hosted by Pat Esden, Ginger Churchill, Becca Fitzpatrick, Laura Anderson (who has some very exciting news of her own–a three book deal!!!), and me, of course. We’re still getting it up to speed, but having a great time doing so. Our second post went up today, a review of Jane Yolan’s new graphic novel, The Last Dragon. Pat did a great review, and made me really envious that she’s already gotten her hands on a copy!
I personally have been a fan of Jane Yolan since before I knew what fans were, and was so excited to meet her at SCBWI National in January. I was just sitting quietly on the front row of our last session when she and her friends claimed the seats next to me. I actually had a great time whispering with Carol Snyder, who I did not recognize and was therefore able to relax and enjoy. But, when I met Jane I had my first ever experience in which I was so excited I couldn’t think! She asked me where I had published my short stories (something I really should know) but it was like my brain had just bailed. Gone out for ice cream, or something. I couldn’t come up with the name of a single mag where I’ve published. She was very kind, and didn’t laugh at me, and patted my hand, and soon I was able to say something or other about mostly writing novels now and then toddle back to my seat. I was left feeling very grateful that those gracious ladies took the time for me, a relative noob, but also very grateful that there are very few people in the world I am likely to fangirl!
I’ve been thinking how some chicken moms just don’t seem to get it. They lay their eggs in the silliest places. I mean, really! What chick would want to hatch here?
In case you can’t tell, that’s a cat crate. And something tells me that any fluffy little chicks who hatched out of these eggs would make fluffy little hors ‘d’oeuvres for one happy kitty.
I’m not sure this ‘nesting spot’ is a vast improvement. One of our chickens likes to roost on the side of this wheelbarrow in the evening, and I guess she’s just too lazy to go lay her eggs in the coop.
Whenever I see this, I hear a crunch in my mind as the wheel runs over the egg.
The question that I ask myself, then, is what kind of chicken am I? When I go out on agent submissions this week with 13 Demon Days, will I lay those query eggs wherever I can find a flat spot? In querying terms, I’m pretty sure a ‘flat spot’ translates to any agent who has an email box. Or, will I try to give my little hatchling the best possible chance? Giving my query the best chance is a pain. It means passing up on really cool agents who are just not right for my project. It means researching the rest so I have some idea whether we’d be a good fit, and personalizing my query. That may sound like no big deal, but it actually translates into hours of work. But when I wonder if it’s really necessary, I picture my cat’s face when she spies a flully little yellow chick . . . and I get back to my research.
A couple spots that I’ve found hugely helpful in the search are the fun and fantastic Mother. Write. Repeat. and the equally fun and super informative Literary Rambles. If you’ve got any other spots you go to for agent research, post them in the comments. I and my query eggs will thank you!
This is what comes from rampant flights of imaginative wonder coupled with a tendency to obsess. I didn’t mean it to happen. I was just day-dreaming a bit and thinking up a spunky little fellow for 13 Demon Days, but apparently my creativity has taken on a life of its own. Look what followed us home from the strawberry patch!
We gave each other quite a start. And that was only the beginning. A few hours and one strawberry pie later, we’d realized that messing with the Strawberry Man may have been the biggest mistake of our lives.
Lesson learned, eh? Never underestimate a strawberry on a mission.
